Pretoria - Four out of 10 marriages end in divorce before the 10-year mark, but the thought of being with anyone other than each other has never crossed the minds of John and Elizabeth Bojé, who have just celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary.
Men are said to be the hunters, but in this case, it was a bright-eyed 20-year-old Elizabeth, a first-year student at UCT, who made the first move to get her man in 1956.
At the time, John, 21, a second-year student, had gone to a fresher's week event hoping to check out the “talent”. He was instead approached by her, and the rest is history, as they say.
“I planned to meet my friend at the movies after shopping, but when I arrived she was not there, so I approached him. When it was over, he asked me out for coffee and that was it.“
The couple were married in England in 1958, only after Elizabeth had received a telegram from her father. This was because she had not reached the age of maturity and required a letter from her parents to give them permission to wed. They lived in Nottingham and had two children soon after they were married.
“I knew she was the right person for me and regarded her acceptance of me as a great compliment,” John said. Elizabeth said she knew she had found the one because “he was not only beautiful but also came across as someone who was very solid.
“I've got a dysfunctional family, and he seemed so solid, loving and together. I was at boarding school all my life, and my dad was struggling to look after children while trying to make it as a doctor. John was beautiful and kind and he showed me around, and his family just welcomed me with open arms,” she said.
And while the couple said trying to survive as a family was not easy in post-war England during the 1950s, they were blessed to have friends and family who were willing to help them out from time to time.
“We had to make do with very little. If you go through that together, it can either split you or bind you.
“We've had 65 good years, enjoy good health and our four children have grown up successfully, and now we have 10 grandchildren and three great-grandchildren,” she said.
While they’ve had their fair share of challenges, the couple said for them, divorce or separating throughout those years never once crossed their minds.
John said: “I’ve never gone off on my wife because I don’t drive. When I was teaching, the kids always used to ask me why I do not drive. I would always tell them that my wife loves me very much and I don't want to deny her the opportunity of demonstrating that love by driving me around.
“We both recognised very early on that we’re very different but complement each other with our own strengths and weaknesses. Also, I come from a strict Afrikaans family where divorce never existed. While it did in Elizabeth's family, it was a situation to be avoided at all costs.”
John and Elizabeth are the parents of Val Bojé, the former Pretoria News editor who died in October 2021.
Pretoria News