You’ve probably seen that meme with a turtle on a fence post and wondered how it got there, followed by a politician’s face asking how they got into the position they occupy.
That’s pretty much the same way I feel about SUVs.
When did the world decide that saloon cars aren’t a thing anymore and turn their attention to ubiquitous boxes?
Perhaps I’m just being old fashioned but an SUV should be a rugged vehicle used for adventures and exploring not a flashy wannabe Camel man transporter.
This was the discussion I was having with my mate around a braai fire while I had the BMW 740i on test.
He’s a long-time BMW fan having owned a couple of 3-Series and was fortunate enough to have owned a fifth generation 7-series with a V12 turbo-charged engine.
Like many people he’s not a fan of the big signature kidney grille and while beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I think it befits the rather large 7-Series flagship, but not so much on some of their other models.
Luxury interior
There are no polarising opinions on the interior, though, with everything worthy of being classified as the 7 luxury sedan.
It’s like sitting in a luxury Bordeaux villa in a comfortably soft La-Z-Boy with so much modern technology you’ll have to own the car for months before you’ve managed to get to grips with everything.
It has BMW’s curved display digital screen that combines a 12.3-inch driver’s display and 14.9-inch touchscreen infotainment system that uses BMW’s Operating System 8 and can be controlled either through touch or voice control.
Big screen TV
The real star of the show, though, is behind the front seats.
Apart from the impressive amount of space and the fully reclining seat with a footrest behind the front passenger seat, there’s a 31.3-inch 8K screen that folds down from the headlining!
You can be entertained via Amazon Fire TV, stream videos, play games or listen to music thundering through on the Bowers & Wilkins surround sound system.
It’s operated by a 5.5-inch touch control display in the rear doors, and as someone put it when they climbed into the back, it’s like having your phone in the door.
When you select Theatre Mode, window blinds cover all the glass in the back, cocooning you in the lap of luxury.
Engine
The 740i is powered by BMW’s popular 3.0-litre turbo-charged engine that in this iteration provides 230kW and 450Nm of torque, coupled to an eight-speed automatic ZF gearbox.
They’ve made some technical changes to improve the set-up including a 48-vault mild hybrid system that adds 8kW when needed while the integrated starter generator supplies power to keep the electrics running and it suits the car perfectly.
Space
It was fortuitous that I had the car over a weekend we had planned to spend at Kaapsehoop in Mpumalanga.
It proved to be the ideal testing ground for the 740i with about three and a half hours of driving open roads, most of it in good condition.
With my one overnight bag and my partner’s more than one overnight bag, the enormous 540-litre boot made short work of it, with ample room to spare.
Here, I’d like to point out that the 740i’s SUV sibling, the X7, has only 300 litres with the rear seats up. See what I did there SUV driver?
Driving The 7
The 740i is a magic carpet ride.
I can’t remember when last I drove a car that’s so incredibly comfortable and easy to pilot despite its size and two ton kerb weight.
The chassis, adaptive two-axle air suspension and Active Roll Comfort function combine brilliantly to provide an almost Rolls Royce-type experience.
Adding to the ease of driving is the 7’s level 3 autonomous driving system, which means, if legislation allows, it can drive itself.
Once we had turned onto the N4, I activated adaptive cruise control, and from there, it basically did everything itself with my hands and sometimes only a finger gently on the wheel.
It’s impressive to see how it keeps between the lines on some of the twists and turns, and while I wouldn’t advocate it for everyday use considering some of our fellow drivers’ road manners, it’s certainly something I can get behind, especially in a luxury sedan.
But as they say, that’s not all.
My partner suffers from chronic lower back ache, and for her to say that it’s the most comfortable and plush seat she’s sat in, considering all the cars I’ve tested over the years, is a massive compliment.
It was no doubt also aided by the various message options activated via the touchscreen.
It proved to be a massive hit in the tiny village, with visitors filming the car and lots of selfies taken over the weekend.
Consumption
Being that big and heavy, you’d expect a massive fuel bill, but it came in under BMW’s claimed 7.9l/100km with consumption figures of 6.8l/100km on the way there and 7.3l/100km back to Pretoria.
You’d probably get close to 9l/100km with a combined cycle but I’ll settle for that any day.
The BMW 740i isn’t a bulk seller, and more’s the pity, but it’s heartening to see that the company still considers it to be their flagship, and if I had R2 359 104 and was shopping around, I’d scratch every SUV off my list.
Willem’s star rating: 5/5
Star Rating Scale:
5 Stars: Exceptional A best-in-class car with outstanding features, no major flaws, and excellent value.
4 Stars: Very Good Highly capable with minor shortcomings. A great choice for most buyers.
3 Stars: Good Decent performance, comfort, or safety but lacks standout qualities or has notable drawbacks.
2 Stars: Below Average Some significant flaws, like poor value, outdated features, or compromised safety or comfort.
1 Star: Poor Lags behind competitors in most aspects, with serious deficiencies in key areas.